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49제를 이렇게 집에서 보낸다는게 이해가 안되지만..
받는이 : 아버지
작성자 : 아버지딸 2006-01-04
아버지!
드디어 2006년이 시작되고 4일이 지났어요.
정확히 오늘이 49제되는 날인데 이렇게 모두가 일상의 생활속에 지내고 있다는게 이해가 안돼.
종교가 뭔지~~이런말 하면 하느님한테 벌받는걸까? 그래도 아버지를 천주교관에 모셨으면서 이런생각하면 안되는데 천주교에선 49제를 안하는거래.그건 불교식이래나 뭐래나...
참 따지는것도 많고 가리는것도 많고, 내맘에 안드는게 너무많지만 어쩌겠어.엄마가 워낙 믿음이 강하시니 누구하나 뭐랄수도 없고~~
아버지 너무 섭섭한건아닌지,아버지도 다 이해
해 줄거라는건 알지만 그래도 화가 날려고하네.
난 녹색면허증을 가지고 있으면서도 운전도 못하는 겁쟁이 바보고..거기가는 길도 난 혼자는 못갈것같애.전철이라도 타고 혼자라도 갔다오고 싶었지만 아이들이방학해서 내가 더 꼼짝을 할수가 없네.
아버지~~~천국문앞까지 가는게 49일이 걸린다며?_이제 천국 문앞에 가계신거에요?
식사도 못하셨던 아버지~~
천국문앞까지가는 49일동안 얼마나 허기지셨을까!
원래는 신정날 우리모두 아버지한테 가려고 했는데 그날은 안치단 개방을 안하는데다 차도 많이 밀린다고하고 ..그래서 우리가족 오랫만에 모여 함께 식사하며 아버지에대한 추억을 떠올리며 그렇게 많은 대화로 시간을 보내고 헤어졌어.
작은오빠도 미국에서 와서 많이 피곤해 보였지만 그래도 다들 반갑고 즐거운 시간이었어요.
아버지.....
이번주 일요일에 우리모두 갈거에요.
너무 서운해하지말고 기다리세요.
엄마는 오늘 지나고 50일제인 내일가자고 하지만 모두가 모이려면 평일엔 안되잖아.
모두가 회사일땜에 바쁜데 엄마는 어린아이처럼 내일 모두 시간내서 회사일은 미루라고 투정부리시고...
억지로라도 사간 낼수는있겠지만 어차피 49제도 못하면서 꼭 내일 갈것도 아니고..
그래서 일요일에 갈거니까 아버지가 참고 이해하고 기다려줘요.
아버지의 모습을 찾을수도 없지만 그래도 청아공원에 아버지를 모셨으니 거기가 아버지 집인거지뭐!
우리 4남매모두 일요일에 아버지집으로 갑니다.우리 맞을 준비 단단히 해두세요.아버지!!!!!
너무 너무 그리워서 가슴이 아파요.
사랑하는 우리아빠!!!!!정말 미치도록 보고싶고,목이 터져라 불러보고 싶어.아버지 사랑합니다.
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