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오늘은 아버지랑 마주앉아 얘기하고 싶어요.
받는이 : 아버지
작성자 : 아버지의딸 2006-01-18
그리운 나의 아버지!
아버진 날 까마득히 잊어버린거야.왜 내꿈엔 한번도 안나타나시는 거에요.
아버지....
만남과 헤어짐을 반복하며 사는게 인생사라지만 오늘은 마음이 더 울적해진다.
나의 가장 오래된 친구 은주가내일 떠난대.
아이들 둘 데리고 먼 타국땅으로..
박서방 친구들은 기러기 아빠된 친구가 60%정도 되는데 내친구는 은주가 처음이네.
이제 초등학교 다니는 아이들을 외국에서 공부 시킨다고 뭐가 얼만큼 더 좋아지는건데 그 난리들인지 몰라.
아버지 난 외국에선 못살거야.
잠깐 여행만 가도 이튿날부터 향수병에 못살겠던데..난 평생 내나라 내땅에서 살다 죽어서 아버지 곁으로 갈거야.
서로가 바빠서 잘 만나지도 못하는 친구사이지만 막상 멀리 떠난다고 하니 마음이 이상해서 나 혼자 술한잔 했어요.
박서방은 오늘도 늦나봐.요즘은 매일 초등학교친구들 만나느라 압구정동으로 르네상스로 ..
참 재미좋아.근데 아버지 난 이상하게 화도 안나.
그냥 혼자있는것도 나쁘지 않은것같애.
정원이 혁이 잠들면 그때부터 혼자 많은 생각도 할수있고 나만의 시간을 즐길수있으니까 이렇게 아버지 한테 편지도 길게 할수있고..
이제 자정도 지났으니 18일이네.
은주 아침7시비행기라는거 같던데 전화나 할수있을지 모르겠다 .
우리 참 어린아이들이었는데 이렇게 커서 결혼하고 아이낳고 엄마가 되어 늙어가고 있으니..
아버지도 그 세월앞에 결국 그렇게 떠나고 인생이 너무 허무한거같애.
아버지 ..나 너무 외롭네.
아버지도 없고 친한친구도 외국으로 떠나고 ..
그래도 또 살아가겠지.인간은 참 나약한듯하면서도 강하기에 아마도 잘 숨쉬며 하루하루 아이들과 정신없이 보내게 되겠지.
아버지 살아계셨음 오늘같은날은 아버지랑 포도주라도 한잔마시면서 막 어리광도 부리고 수다도 떨고 그러고 싶다.
나의 희망사항일뿐이지만..
보고싶은 아버지 ~~~
다음엔 즐거운 얘기로 찾아뵐께요.
오늘은 여기서 그만 ...편히 주무세요.
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