청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

무심한 아들아.: 받는이 : 김태은; 작성자 : 엄마 2006-07-20

태은아.
어떻게 지내는데?

사랑하는 아들!
너로해서 엄마는
죽음이 너무 가까이 내곁에 있음을 알게되었다.
그걸 알고나니 삶도 다시 보이는 것 같구나.

슬픔이 깊어 바닥에 이르면
희망의 빛을 본다더구나.
엄마에게 희망이라면..널 보는것인데..
죽음이 그 길이라면..죽음도 두렵지 않아.

너는 예전에 전생을 보았다고했던가..
네가 했던 말들을 꿰어서
네가 원했던 것을 찾아내는 일을 하고싶어.

넌 어떤 삶을 살려했었을까..
어떤 일을 이루려 왔다가
짧은 삶을 보내게 되었을까..

보고싶은 아들.
너무나 자랑스러웠던 ..
그래서 그 존재만으로도 엄마는 행복했었는데..
존재가 사라졌다해서 너는 정말 사라진거니..

아니면 어떤 다른 모습으로
엄마곁에 머무르는거 아닐까?

햇볕으로 바람으로..
지금은 슬픈 빗물로..

그냥 받아들이려해.
엄마가슴 속에 항상
아프고 슬프게 머물겠다는 너를.
언젠가는 널 만나리라는 희망을 안고..
못다한 사랑에 미안한 마음으로
더 많이 사랑하고 용서하며 살다가
널 만나러 갈께.

내일은 네가 간지 49일
49재를 지내.
엄마는 이 곳에서.
네 아빠는 청아공원에서.
따로 지내는 49재지만..마음은 하나라고 생각해.
네가 좋은 곳으로 가서
행복하게 살기를 바라고..
우리도 가서 널 만나고 싶다는.

엄마 아빠가 어리석어 네가 힘들었겠지..
넌 항상 골고루 사랑했는데..

태은아. 미안해.
이제야 좋은 가정이 지상의 행복임을 알았단다.

너는 어쩌면 그 것만을 바랄 수도 있었는데..

이젠 네가 더 순결한 영혼이니
부족한 부모를 용서하고 지켜주기 바래.

사랑해..아들..훨훨 날아 좋은 곳 가더라도
마음한자락 엄마곁에 항상 머물러주렴.
아니 그냥 걸림없이
너 가고싶은 곳으로 가야겠구나.

네가 어디로 가든 엄마가슴 속에 넌 영원하거든.

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O T i ks apoptosis a p o T O s i s or a p o pT O s i s benign tumor b e N I N TOOm o r biological response modiers b i o L O J i k a l r e SP O NS M O D i f i e rz biological therapy b i o L O J i k a l TH E R a p e bone marrow biopsy b o n M A r o B I o ps e bone marrow transplantation b o n M A r o tr a nzpl a nt A sh u n brachytherapy br a k e TH E r a p e cachexia k a K E Ks e a carcinogens k a rS I N o j e nz carcinoma k a rs i N O ma carcinoma in situ k a rs i N O ma i n S I too CANCER MEDICINE ONCOLOGY TERM PRONUNCIATION MEANING cauterization k a wt e r i Z A sh u n cellular oncogenes S E L u l a r O NGK o j e nz chemotherapy k e m o TH E R a p e combination chemotherapy K O Mb i N A sh u n k e m o TH E R a p e core needle biopsy k o r N E dl B I o ps e cryosurgery kr i o S U Rj e r e cystic tumor S I St i k TOOm o r cytogenetic analysis s i t o j e N E T i k a N A L e s i s dedifferentiation d e d i f e r e nsh e A sh u n deoxyribonucleic acid d e o x e r i b o nooKL E i k A S i d differentiating agents d i f e r E Nsh e a t i ng A g e nts differentiation d i f e r e nsh e A sh u n dysplastic d i sPL A St i k electrocauterization e l e ktr o kawt e r e Z A shun electron beams e L E Ktr o n b e mz en bloc resection e n bl o k r e S E Ksh u n encapsulated e nK A Ps u l a t e d epidermoid e p i D E Rmoyd excisional biopsy ekSIZH u n a l B I o ps e exenteration e ks e nt e R A sh u n exfoliative cytology e ksF O l e a t i v s i T O L o j e external beam radiation e ksT E Rn a l b e m r a d e A sh u n beroptic colonoscopy f i b e r O Pt i k k o l o n O Sk o p e brosarcoma f i br o s a rK O ma brosis f i BR O s i s elds f e ldz ne needle aspiration F I N N E dl a sp e R A sh u n follicular f o L I K u l a r fractionation fr a ksh a N A sh u n CANCER MEDICINE ONCOLOGY TERM PRONUNCIATION MEANING fulguration f u lg u R A sh u n fungating tumor f u ngG A t i ng or F U NGg a t i ng TOOm o r genetic screening j e N E T i k SCR E n i ng grading of tumors GR A d i ng of TOOm o rz gray Gy gr a gross description of tumors GR O S d e SKR I Psh u n of TOOm o rz hyperplasia h i p e rPL A z e a immunohistochemistry i m u n o h i st o K E M i str e incisional biopsy i nS I ZH u n a l B I o ps e infertility i nf e r T I L i t e inltrative I Nf i ltr a t i v invasive i nV A s i v irradiation i rr a d e A sh u n laparoscopy l a p a r O Sk o p e linear accelerator L I N e a r a ks e l e R A t o r malignant tumor m a L I Gn a nt TOOm o r mammography m a M O Gr a f e medullary tumor M E D u l a r e TOOm o r mesenchymal m e s e nK I m a l metaplasia m e t a PL A z e a metastasis m e T A St a s i s microscopic description of tumors m i kr o SK O P i k d e SKR I P sh u n of TOOm o rz mitosis m i T O s i s mixedtissue tumors M I KSD T I sh u TOOm o rz modality m o D A L i t e molecularly targeted drugs m o L E K u l a rl e T A Rg e t e d dr u gz morbidity m o rB I D i t e mucinous M U s i n u s CANCER MEDICINE ONCOLOGY TERM PRONUNCIATION MEANING mucositis m u k o S I t i s mutagenic m u t a J E N i k mutation m u T A sh u n myelosuppression m i e l o s u PR E sh u n necrotic tumor n e KR O T i k TOOm o r neoplasm N E o pl a zm neuroblastoma noor o bl a sT O m a neurobromatosis noor o f i br o m a T O s i s nucleotide NOOkl e o t i d oncogene O NGK o j e n oncology o nK O L o j e osteosarcoma o st e o s a rK O m a palliative P A L e a t i v papillary P A P i l a r e pedunculated p e D U NGk u l a t e d PETCT scan P E T CT sk a n photon therapy F O t o n TH E R a p e pleomorphic pl e o M O Rf i k pneumonitis noom o N I t i s polypoid tumor P O L i poyd TOOm o r protein marker tests PR O t e n M A RK e r t e sts protocol PR O t o k o l proton therapy PR O t o n TH E R a p e radiation r a d e A sh u n radiocurable tumor r a d e o K U R a bl TOOm o r radionuclide scans r a d e o NOOkl i d sk a nz radioresistant tumor r a d e o r e Z I St a nt TOOm o r radiosensitive tumor r a d e o S E Ns i t i v TOOm o r radiosensitizers r a d e o S E Ns i t i z e rz radiotherapy r a d e o TH E R a p e relapse r e L A PS CANCER MEDICINE ONCOLOGY TERM PRONUNCIATION MEANING remission r e M I SH u n retinoblastoma r e t i n o bl a sT O m a ribonucleic acid RNA r i b o nooKL E ik A S i d sarcoma s a rK O m a scirrhous SK I R u s secondary tumors S E k o nd a r e TOOm o rz serous S E r u s sessile S E S i l simulation s i m u L A sh u n solid tumor S O L i d TOOm o r staging of tumors ST A j i ng of TOOm o rz stem cell transplantation st e m s e l tr a nzpl a nt A sh u n stereotactic radiosurgery st e r e o T A Kt i c r a d e o S U Rj e r e steroids ST E Roydz surgical procedures to treat S U RG i k a l pr o S E j u rz to tr e t cancer K A Ns e r teletherapy t e l e TH E r a p e ulcerating tumor U Ls e r a t i ng TOOm o r verrucous tumor v e ROOk u s TOOm o r viral oncogenes V I r a l O NGK o j e nz virus V I r u s xerostomia z e r o ST O m e a CANCER MEDICINE ONCOLOGY REVIEW SHEET Write the meanings of the combining forms in the spaces provided and 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