청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

아빠..: 받는이 : 최윤상; 작성자 : 막내딸한나♡ 2006-11-26

아빠.....정말오랜만이야
잘지내..?
벌써....아빠가우리곁을떠난지는 2년이네..
딱1년전에 여기에다 아빠한테 편지쓰고
정말 오랜만에 와서 쓰는 편지네..
미안해..
아빠...... 실은 언니가 아빠가 자꾸 꿈에 나타난다고 그런말하니까.. 불안불안해서..
아빠생각도나고.. 아빠 아니겟지?
언니한테 하고싶은말이많아서 언니꿈에 자주 나타나는거야? .. 내꿈에와서는 그러지도않고..
편지를 쓰니까 더 보구싶네..
우리가 꽤 많은시간이 흐른것같지않은데
벌써 이사가..
아빠랑 함께한 16년..짧고도 긴시간..
내인생이 얼만큼인지는 몰라도...
아빠랑 함께한 시간이 16년이라는게...
참 ....씁쓸하고.. 길지않다는것에 어이없고 그래..
정말보고싶어..
이제 볼수도없고 안아줄수도없고
미안하다고 이렇게 편지로만 대신하는게
너무나도 슬퍼
뭐가그렇게급해서 빨리갓어..
언니랑나만두고.. 그렇게급하지안아도 됬는데
우리가 아빠의 소중함을 너무 늦게 깨달아서
미안해..
우리챙겨주는사람 유일하게 엄마랑아빠라는것도
어리석게 아빠간뒤에 알아서 너무 미안해
내친구들만해도 아빠라고불르는건 감사한일이 아닌것 처럼 보이는데.. 이제 내겐 감사한일이되버렷어..아빠라고불르는친구들도..
아빠생신선물사드리는것도..이젠 부러움이 되버렷어..
하지만
항상고마워 ..
이제원망하지않아..
아빠가 부디 편안한곳에 따듯한곳에 좋은곳에서
행복했으면 좋겟어..
그리고외롭지않았으면좋겟어
여기서 정말많이외로웠지?
너무미안해.... 내가너무이기적이고나빠..
아빠한테 해주고싶은 일도 말도 너무많은데
이제 후회해도 소용없다는거 알아..
항상 아빠가 좋은곳에 있다고믿을께
언니랑 나 항상지켜줘..
이제 누구도 미워하지말고 부디편히갔으면좋겠어..
항상미안해..내가죽을때까지.........
그리고 항상고마워..
보고싶은우리아빠 ♡ 사랑해..

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