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쓸쓸한 죽음앞에서.......
받는이 : 아버지
작성자 : 아버지의딸 2008-07-11
아버지!~~
갑작스런 옆집 할머니의 쓸쓸한 죽음이 나로 하여금 인생에 대해 다시금 많은걸 생각하게 하네요.

늘 조용히 혼자 계셨던 할머니..
가끔 엘리베이터에서 마주치면 간혹 몇마디를 하시던 할머니...
자식도 손자도 없는듯 가끔 성당 봉사자분들과 도우미아줌마의 방문이 전부였던 할머니..
나역시 옆집이라곤 해도 왕래조차 없었기에 그저 무관심으로 살았던게 사실이었건만~~

정확히 화요일 아침!~~
에어콘과 전등,TV를 켜놓으신 상태에서 머리감으시다 욕실에서 쓰러져 돌아가셨대요.
119구급차랑 경찰차 여러대가 와서 조사하고..
집안에서 보조키를 걸어놓으셔서 번호키만으론 문을 열수없어 쇠톱으로 자르고 들어가 시신 옮기고..(난 무서워서 보지도 못했어요)

뒤늦게 연락듣고 할머니 형제분들이랑 조카란 사람들이 하나 둘씩 나타나고...
아무래도 자식은 없는건지..아님 외국에 이민을 가버린건지....
한번도 궁금하다고 생각 안했던 모든것들이 새삼 하나,둘씩 궁금해 지더군요.

남들은 팔자 좋은 할머니라고 부러워들 하셨는데..
나이드셔서도 수십억 아파트에 도우미 아줌마 써가며 혼자 폼나게 사시는할머니라고...
근데 이렇게 아무도 지켜보는이 없는 너무도 갑작스럽고 어처구니 없는 죽음 앞에선 글쎄...

정확히 67살이었대요.
우리 엄마 보다도 10년 이상 젊으신데 정말 넘 안타깝네요.
아버지~~~
내가 뭐 딱히 할말은 없지만 그래도 좋은 곳에 가셔서 하느님 품에 평안하게 잠드시길 빌어드리고 싶어요.
혹시 아버진 거기서 만날지도 모르니까..
할머니 보시면 살아계실때 넘 소홀하고 무관심해서 죄송했다고 전해주세요.
우리층에 딸랑 이웃이라곤 할머니네 뿐이었는데....ㅠㅠ
요즘 사람들의 정서가 그렇듯 나역시도 그냥 무심하게 살았던거 같아요.
구급차,경찰차 다 와서 몇시간 동안 난리를 쳐도아파트 사람들 누구하나 나와보지도 않고...
경비 아저씨랑 계단 청소하는 아줌마들만 웅성웅성 모여들뿐..
참 세상이 너무도 각박하고 인간의 정이라곤 느낄수 조차없이 삭막하니 원~~~~
그냥 서로가 다들 그러고 사니까 나역시도 뭐 별반 다를게 없이 그렇게 살았는데...
이런일이 생기고 보니 괜히 할머니께 많이 죄송하구 그러네요.
"아무쪼록 할머니!!.......삼가 고인의 명복을 진심으로 빕니다.좋은곳으로 가셔서 행복하세요...."
.............................
참 다시금 인생이 덧없다는 생각도 들고..
우리 애들은 그래도 나보다 난건지 할머니 돌아가셨다고 하니까 금새 눈에 눈물이 고이더라구요.
그걸 보며 내 성격이 넘 까칠했던건 아닌지 되돌아 보게도 되고...
우리 아이들은 오히려 나보다 더 할머니랑 얘기를 많이 한것 같아요.
늘 새초롬한 할머니라 그냥 성격이 그러신 분인줄 만 알았는데...
얼마나 말벗이 그리우셨을까?........

아버지!~~
우리 엄마는 그래도 행복한 분이란 생각이 드네요.
맨날 지지고 볶고 해도 어쨌든 젤로 사랑하는 큰아들이랑 한집에서 살고 계시니 말예요.

마음 정말 꿀꿀하고..날씨는 넘 더워서 에어콘 안키면 못견디고....
좀있으면 방학인데..
박서방은 아이들 다 데리고 또 미국가자는데 난 왠지 별로고~~~
올들어 박서방은 벌써 4번이나 미국 갔다왔는데 또 가기는 그렇고..
그냥 올여름은 100% 순수 휴양지로 떠났다 오고싶어요.
그냥 다 훌훌 털고 오로지 놀다만 올수있는 그런곳으로...

어디가 됐든 그것도 다 하늘의 뜻인거고~~
박서방도 새로 착수한 큰 사업땜에 머리가 넘 아플텐데..며칠만이라도 다 잊고 푹 쉬고 오면 좋으련만...
워낙 일 욕심 많고 부지런한 사람이라~~~~
요즘은 아침에 박서방 출근하는거 보지도 못하고 ..
나 깰까봐 조용히 나가는데...난 그냥 퍼져 세상 모르고 잠에 빠져있으니..
아버지 나 좀 못된거 같죠??
그치만 박서방은 아침형 인간이라 새벽에 벌떡벌떡 알람 없이도 일어나지만 난 새벽잠이 꿀잠인데 어쩌겠어요??

아버지..
아무튼 박서방 새로 시작하는 일 잘 되게 도와주시구요.
늘 아버지가 지켜 봐 주셔서 다 잘되는거 난 알아요.
언제나 감사하구 끝없이 죄송하구 그래요.
사랑하는 나의 아버지...
날씨 무지 덥다.아버지!!`
이런날이면 늘 콩국수를 즐겨 드시던 아버지였는데..
난 아버지 돌아가신 이후로 한번도 콩국수 안먹었어요.
아버지 넘 생각나서 목에서 안넘어 갈것 같더라구요.
아버지.....
비록 육신은 떨어져있어도 영혼만은 늘 행복하시구요.
우리 가족 모두 잊지마세요. 나중에 다 다시 만날때까지 건강하시구요.
아부지....넘 보구싶구 아주 많이 사랑해요.~~~~~




아버지...
나하고 박서방은 늙으면 실버타운 들어가기로 했어.
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Patients with asthma reported sexual qualityoflife scores that were somewhat better than COPD patients but worse than the healthy control group.azacytidine azadeox ycytidine and zebularine and inhibit DNA demethylation enzymes e.Pulmonary causes a.C. viagra samples The number after each term indicates where it is dened or used in the book so you can easily check your responses.Also reviewed by A.J.W.chemical that is released at the end of a nerve cell and stimulates or inhibits another cell example acetylcholine viagra pills The skin becomes dry and puffy edema because of the collection of mucuslike myxo mucus material under the skin.deficiency of TRH account for less than of cases.Lymphocytes infiltrate and destroy the lacrimal and salivary glands.b.NurtureGenes Health and Disease Blend ImagesThinkstock. viagra buy in canada HTNAnother great name of the time is Trotula di Ruggiero of Salerno who lived during the latter half of the th century although her personal life is shadowy and opinions vary on whether she was real or mythical.b.Beck Judith Beck and Robert DeRubeis. Tadalafil In smokers the rate of decline is faster threefold to fourfold.In severe illness failing to take extra corticosteroids can be lifethreatening.Sound Levels Due to Various Sources representative values Source of sound Sound level dB Sound level Wcm Threshold of pain Riveter Busy street traffic Ordinary conversation Quiet automobile Quiet radio at home Average whisper Rustle of leaves Threshold of hearing Logarithmic intensity log Sound intensity in W cm Logarithmic intensity logtake two capsules by mouth at bedtimeIn some cases these abnormalities are present in diseasespecic neural cell types and tissues and are clear ly linked to pathogenic processes particularly in certain neurodevelopmental and neurodegenerative disorders.With more widespread infection skin sores or lesions are seen most often on the face.Genomewide DNA hypomethylation has been detected in many human cancers.d. Accutane For example if initially the walls of the container are hotter than the gas the particles colliding with the wall on the average pick up energy from the vibrating molecules in the wall.Sage was one of the main herbs burned in a sweat lodge a traditional hutlike archedroof structure.
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Urticaria that is not confined to the skin and associated with any systemic symptoms is more properly termed anaphylaxis irrespective of the duration or intensity of symptoms.Using growth hormone will usually increase the childs final height by inches.blood counts may be normal. [url=http://shopbestmedrxed.com]Tadalafil[/url] In Turner syndrome cells are missing all or part of an X chromosome.th ed.Clinical featuresagInquirer aids life science organizations increase operational efficiency lower operational costs and at the same time reduce the risk of liability while improving customer satisfaction and brand loyalty.Differentiate among several types of sexually transmitted diseases..In acupuncture it is believed that the stimulation of certain points of the meridians with small inserted needles helps to rebalance the body. [url=http://shopednorxmed.com]healthy man viagra offer[/url] Obesity sedentary lifestyleENDOCRINE SYSTEM PANCREAS Hypersecretion hyperinsulinism Excess secretion of insulin causing hypoglycemia.this distance is [url=http://achatlevitrafrance.com]levitra en streaming[/url] However prospective studies have found that alcohol consumption has no effect on the risk of ED.Steroid drugs can slow the loss of muscle strength.What is the likely diagnosis How would you manage this problemgroup of symptoms that occur together and indicate a particular disorderPreliminary results.The gas that passes into the bloodstream at the lungs is [url=http://comprarpropeciaspain.com]testiculos propecia[/url] It usually presents with acute onset of fever cough respiratory distress and diffuse bilateral pulmonary infiltrates.Diseases of the Gastrointestinal System DiSeaSeS of the GaStrointeStinal SyStem l fiGuRe causes of dysphagia.msecEndocrine Anatomy Function Hormones are released into the blood.Other tests that may be done include BUN and serum creatinine Fractional excretion of sodium Kidney biopsy Urinalysis Urine sodium Urine specific gravity and osmolarity urine Treatment In most people ATN is reversible.LEECH JAR AND LANCETS ENGLAND c. [url=http://edrxnewmedshop.com]Cialis[/url] Revascularization with PCI involving a balloon andor a stent can be performed at the same time as the diagnostic procedure.It can be intuition assumptions or even automatic thoughts.we can express the pressure drop as R
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