청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

가신지 1년이 되셨네요!: 받는이 : 형에게; 작성자 : 막내가 2005-05-24

어느덧 형님께서 아버님을 뵈러 가신지가 1년이 되였네요!~``
한참 어리게만 보인던 아이들이 어느덧 다 자람을 금번 제사를 모시면서 다시 한번 느꼈습니다...
형님께서는 참으로 아이들을 잘 키우셨더군요!
형님!~~
그곳에서 저희들을 보고는 계신거죠?
요즘 큰애가 많이 힘들어 하고 있어요!
아이들이 지금의 이시련을 이겨 낼수 있게끔 형님에서 많은 용기와 힘을 주세요!~
작은 시련은 살아가는 과정에서의 단련이라지만
큰 시련은 겪지 않게~~` 계획된 모든일이 순조롭기만을~`이 작은 아빠도 곁에서 도우도록 할께요!
점점 어머니도 연로해지시면 자꾸만 불안감이 앞서네요!!
자주가서 많은 위로와 대하를 해드려야 하는데,,,
아직도 제자신에게는 젊의실때의 섭섭함이 남아 있는지 자꾸만 가기가 꺼려질대가 있어요!~`
이러면 안되는데,... 후회할줄 알면서도,,,
마음이 자꾸 작아지는지 모르겠어요!~~
삶!
어떨때는 아뭇것도 아님을 알면서도,,, 가족과 함게 있는것이라는 것을 알면서도,,,그 과거의 생각이 왜 아직도 나를 지배하는지 제 자신도 알수가 없더군요!
그러나 가까이 기도록 하겠어요~~`말벗이 도도록 노력하겠어요!!`
요즘 형수도 무릅이 아파 많이 고생하고 있네요!!!
많이 약해지셨구요!!~
형님!
왜 저와 막네에게는 가끔 꿈에 오셔서 대화도 하고 나무람도 하시면서 큰애 에게는 왜 안오시는것예요!~`
큰에게 무척 섭섭하다고 하네요!
좋은 모습으로 꿈에서라도 오셔서 행복함을 누리도록 해주세요!~
그옛날 아버지와 형님들과 그 좁은 집에서 함께 생할하던 그모습, 그대가 오늘따라 무척이나 그립네요!
형님!
이승의 일은 걱정하지 마시고 편히, 아주 편히 아버님과 편안한 생활 하기시 바래요!~
저희 남은 가족은 형님곁으로 가는날까지 함께 열심히 살도록 할께요!~
그리움이 이렇케 가슴을 아프게 하네요!
그리움에 너무 커서 심장이 터질듯이~~
형님,,,
참으로 이세상을 산다는것이 아무것도 아닌데..
왜 자꾸만 욕심이 많아 지는지 모르겠어요!~~
욕심 없는삶,,, 함께 사는 삶이 되어야 하는데...ㅋ
그냥 후회없이 열심히 살께요~~~`
우리 아이들에게 좀 더 나은 세상을 물려주고~
내 생명다하는날 형님곁으로 가겠습니다....

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