청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

감사합니다. ^^: 받는이 : 엄마; 작성자 : 막내딸 문영 2003-11-21

엄마~ 나야~
오늘 26번째 생일이 되어버렸어. -_-
엄마가 낼 모레면 서른인게 철딱서니 없다고
말했을때.. 아직 30이 먼것 같더니

정말로 조금있으면 서른이네..

작년에 엄마가 없이 처음 맞은 생일은 참 낯설었는데..슬프기도 하고..
시간이 지나서 그럴까?
두번째 맞는 오늘은.. 좀 괜찮아.

사실.. 엄마가 계속 내 생일날 곁에 있어줬다면
엄마가 나를 낳아준거에 대해 평생..
고마운 거..못 느꼈을 수도 있을거야..

그런데 작년에..
엄마한테 그렇게 고마울 수가 없더라구
힘든 인생이지만..그래도
내가 살고 있다는게..감사했지..
작년에 처음 알았어.
항상 선물 안해준다고 투덜거리고 그랬는데..

엄마가 끓여준 미역국 못 먹으니까..
그때..첨 느꼈어.
엄마가 곁에 있어주면서.. 매해 생일날
끓여준 미역국이 정말 커다란 선물이었구나..
곁에 있는 것 만으로 힘이 되는 사람은
엄마밖에 없었구나 하는 생각이 들었찌..
진작 철이 들었음 좋았을껄.. ^^

오늘은 학교앞에 가서 친구들이랑 후배들이랑 만나.
엄마 장례식날.. 모두 봤잖아.
다들 착하지? 힘든 발걸음 다 해주었으니까..
오늘도 그 친구들이랑 함께 놀거야.
나를 많이 걱정해주고, 챙겨주는 사람들이 있어서
작년에 힘들었지만, 외롭기도 했지만..
많이 힘이 됐어..

엄마
오늘은 언니가 미역국 끓여줬어.
조금 맛이 없었는데 -_-;;
내가 미역국 원래 좋아하니까.
그냥 먹어줬어. 아직 맛없다고 말 안했는데 ^^;
생일 지나면 말할라구.. 히히
사실..맛이 없다기보다는 좀 싱거웠는데..
음..암튼..그랬어 ^^;

오늘부터 날씨가 진짜 추워졌어.
감기 안 걸리게 조심해야지.

그러면..
나 오늘 생일이니까..즐겁게 논다?
헤헤

다음에 또 쓸게..

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