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할머니가 무지 보고싶은날..: 받는이 : 우리할머니!!; 작성자 : 손녀딸은혜 2004-03-25

할머니...저 은혜에여!!
여기다가 편지는 처음 써요....자신이 없어서 그동안은 못썼어요. 한번쓰면 정말 아쉽지 않을때까지 쓰고싶은데 그럴라면 일주일도 더 넘게 잠도안자고 밥도안먹고 써야할판이었거든요...그래도 지금은 마음이 많이 놓이니까..그땐 정말 마음이 너무 아파서 편지쓸생각도 감히 못했어요. 그 슬픔을 어떻게 표현해...다 표현하지못할것같으니까 아예 맘속으로만 할머니생각했죠..마음속에선 표현이 한계가없잖아요...

암튼 지금쯤은 할머니도 적응되었겠죠? 할머니보다 조금 먼저 그세상으로간 내친구들 두명있어요..만나봤어요? 둘다 굉장히 착해요..하늘나라에선 아무리 새대차이나도 말 잘 통하겠지? 말안통해두 뭐 우리 할머니는 언제나 누구에게나 상냥하니까...^^

할머니랑 같이 보낸 시간들이 나에게 슬픔이 아닌 웃음을 주기엔 아직은 이르지만, 할머니랑 같이 잤던거,평창동갈때면 으레 할머니 우리집모시고 오던거,, 울집가자고하면 할머니는 뭘 노인네데려가서 뭐하냐면서도 슬슬 짐싸던..흐흐,,,난 진짜루 할머니 너무너무 사랑해~그래서 생전에 더 잘해줄껄...뭐 이런말두 내얘긴아니야...왜냐면 난 진짜루 할머니 너무너무 좋아했고 표현도 마니 다 했어!!...맨날 할머니 끌어안고 뽀뽀하고 그랬잖아 할머니는 아이고~이러면서 쑥시런 웃음...그래도 밤에 잘때 나보다도 덩치작은 할머니가 어찌나 든든했는지...내가 은근히 밤을 무서워했는데 할머니가 온날은 나보다 작은 할머니를 부서져라 껴안구 잤는데...할머니는 그럼 나 손 꼭 잡아주고 등이랑 팔도 부비부비 쓰다듬어주고...맨날 내가 전쟁때 얘기해달라구하고..할머니 소녀때 얘기해달라구하고...근데 내가 정말 기억력이 보통이 아닌가봐...
다 기억나네..사진처럼 그 장면들이...할머니가 해주던 이야기스토리들도...목소리까지도..헤헤

할머니보러간게 벌써 지난12월이네..이번주나 다음주에 갈께유..근데 나 할머니젊을때사진보구 놀랬어! 솔찍히...할머니는 젊을때보다 좀 늙었을때가 더 이쁘구 참 뭐랄까 지적이게 보인달까? 헤헤

편지시작할때 보내는이 이름쓰고10분울고 받는이 이름쓰고10분울고 제목쓰고 또 엉엉 울었는데 편지끝마칠때는 웃으면서 끝낼수있게 됐어..할머니랑의추억들 생각하니까 그냥 얼굴에 미소가 번진다...^-^ 고인은 마음에 묻는게 아니고 간직하는거지. 너무 소중하니까...

할머니때문에 난 이제 귀신도 무섭지 않아졌어...귀신나타나면 우리할머니아냐고 물어봐야지,,그리구 좀 불러달라구,,호호호

할머니 우리가족,친척들 모두 할머니가 크게 하늘에서 손벌려서 감싸주고 보호해줘...
또 그안에서 모두가 행복하길.....

할머니 그만쓸께....!!! i love you!

몰아서쓰려니 두서없는 글이 되었어..미안!
나 원래 글잘쓰는데~담부턴 더 정리잘해서 쓸께!

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