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비 오십니다. 어머님!: 받는이 : 그리운 어머님; 작성자 : 둘째 승구올림 2005-07-28

비 오십니다, 어머님! 어제 밤 늦게부터 시작된 바람이 비를 몰아 함께 밤새 창을 때리더니 아직까지도 서러운 것 털어내지 못하였는지 굵게 굵게 그렇게 듯습니다. 해가 갈수록 화수분되어 가슴에 절절한 어머님! 아침 출근길에 에미의 간밤 꿈 얘기를 들었답니다. 직장에서의 입지때문에 가위를 눌렸는지 누군가에 의해 신분안정의 소망이 이루어지는 몽상을 사실인양 그렇게 꾸었답니다. 에미도 이제 쉰이 내일 모레인데 아직 떨치지 못한 간난이 에미를 직장으로 몰고 그 직장에서의 신분이 해 온 노력에 비해서는 보장되지 않는, 그래서 그것을 걱정하게 하는 당신의 둘째는 참 미력한 놈인가 봅니다.
운전석에서 항상 제게 생전의 모습을 보여주시는 어머님이신데 그림은 그림일 뿐 소망을 이룰 수 없음을 알면서도 왜 이렇게 어머님의 체취를 소망하고 욕심내게 되는 것일까요?

이번 일요일엔 훈이를 면회하러 갑니다. 그저께가 녀석 입대한지 70일이 되어서 바뀐 군인 복무규정 덕에 면회가 가능하다 하여 가기로 하였습니다. 훈이 친구녀석들이 다섯이나 함께 가겠다하여 부득이 손윗동서의 승합차를 빌려 가기로 하였는데 어떻게 변했을지 상당히 궁금도 하려니와 기대가 됩니다. 지금껏 녀석의 생활을 어머님께서 하늘에서 지키셨을테니 면회하는 곳에도 나려 함께 해주세요. 당신 손녀 은혜도 열심히 공부하더니 이번 1학기도 학부에서 1등을 하였답니다. 기특하지요.
그리운 어머님! 아버님과 형님댁, 누님 내외, 그리고 막내에 이르기까지 두루 살피시려니 하면서 어머님께 떠미는 못난 아들을 용서도 해주세요. 오래 지나서야 어머님께 글을 드리는데 하늘로 보내는 편지는 다른 이들에게는 점차 무력해지나 보내요. 글들이 날로 줄어요.
어머님, 나의 어머님 강녕하세요.
2005년 7월 스무여드렛날
당신의 둘째 승구 올림

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