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받는이 : 자랑스런 우리 엄마
작성자 : 막내딸 명옥이 2005-12-29
엄마,
오늘이 엄마 돌아가신지 딱 열흘이 되는 날이예요.
그런데, 아직도 실감이 나지 않아요.
언니네 가면, 아직도 계실 것만 같은데......

오늘도 지나가다 생선전을 보면서 엄마 생각을 했어요.
늘 좋아셨잖아요.
엄마, 다음에 엄마한테 갈때 맛있게 만들어 갈게요.

엄마,
엄마 병원에 계셨을 때부터 장례 치를 때까지 많이 울어서 그랬는지 안건염이 심해서 오른쪽에 안대를 했는데, 한쪽으로 보면서 또 엄마 생각이 났어요.
엄마도 오른쪽 시력을 잃어서 많이 불편하셨을텐데, 그러려니.. 하고 지냈잖아요.
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늘 엄마를 헤아리는데 인색했음이 뒤늦게 후회돼요......

남들은 호상이라고 하지만, 나이 60 이든 90 이든 그것은 고인이 살다 간 시간이고 보내드리는 우리는 단 한번의 슬픔이라 너무 슬프기만 해요.
그래도 어느날 갑자기 돌아가시지 않고 단 일주일간이라도 우리에게 시간을 주시고 가셔서 너무 고마워요~!!
늘 자식들 생각하시는 엄마라, 가실 때도 가슴에 한이 되지 않게 그렇게 기다려주신게 아닐까... 싶어요.
엄마한테 가면, 그렇게 자고 가라고 하셨는데,
단 하루도 엄마 곁에서 자고 온 적이 없었지요.
그런데, 엄마 병원에 계시고서야, 그제서야 엄마 곁에서 밤을 세웠지요.
좋을 때, 엄마 곁에서, 엄마 품에서 잠을 잤더라면
더 좋았을 걸... 하는 뒤늦은 후회와 아픔이 너무 큽니다...
엄마가 병원에 계신 일주일 동안 엄마 뺨을 만지면서, 엄마 손을 만지면서 너무 가슴이 아팠어요.
얼마나 작고 얼마나 마르셨는지.......
160이 넘는 키에 적당한 체격이 참 보기 좋았는데, 마냥 작아진 엄마를 보면서 너무 애처로웠어요.
좀더 맛있는 거 많이 해드릴걸.......

엄마,
그런데 엄마랑 같이 계시던 형부가 어제 밤에 갑자기 돌아가셨대요.
평소에 몸이 많이 안좋았지만,
너무 갑작스럽게 돌아가셨어요.
혹시 엄마가 언니랑 애들이 고생하는게 안타까워서 빨리 데려가신거 아니예요?
엄마는 자식들 힘든거 못보시잖아요.......
엄마, 언니랑 연원이랑 너무 힘들어해요.
엄마가 힘을 주세요~~!!

저도 얼른 달려가야 하지만,
내일(시간상으로는 오늘) 오전 10시 성당에서 엄마 연도 미사를 넣었거든요.....
그러니, 제가 빠질 수가 없어서 미사를 드리고 가려구요...
많이 섭섭할텐데......

엄마,
이제 자주 올게요.
엄마는 글 읽는 거 좋아하셨는데,
제 편지 꼭 읽으셔야 해요~!!
엄마가 인터넷을 못하셔서 걱정이 되긴 하지만,
어떻게든 내 편지 꼭 읽으셔야 해요!!

엄마,
보고싶은 엄마,
하늘나라에서는 가장 좋은 곳에서
가장 예쁜 모습으로
가장 편안하게 사세요~!!!

엄마,
사랑해요........
엄마,
보고싶어요........
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