청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

[ 詩 5 ] 어머니의 뒷모습: 받는이 : 이원점 엄마; 작성자 : 막내딸 명옥이 2006-01-08

어머니의 뒷모습

어머니의 뒷모습에 어른거리는
이 슬픔의 뿌리는 무엇일까

다시는 되돌아설 것 같지 않은
어머니의 뒷모습은 왜 이렇게
가슴 아픈 걸까

질기게도 이 끈은 어째서
우울마저 연결시켜 놓는 걸까

오랜 세월 어머니는
모든 걸 등뒤로만 숨기셨기 때문일까

아버지와의 생이별을
뿔뿔이 흩어지는 자식의 슬픔을
등뒤로만 울으셨기 때문일까 그래서
어머니의 뒷모습은 저리도 슬픈 걸까

이제 겨우 언뜻 알아차린
어머니의 슬픔도 잠시
곧게 허리 펴시어
환한 웃음 한 번 웃지 못하시고
굽은 뒷모습으로 그렇게 가셨다

솔뫼

----------------

엄마,
이 시를 읽으니까
엄마의 뒷모습이 생각나요.
처녀적에는 별명이 '키다리 미스 리'였다던 엄마가
나이가 드시면서 등이 점점 구부러져서
키작은 딸보다 더 작은 모습으로 누워계셨죠.
그 굽은 등이 엄마의 불거진 응어리처럼 여져지기도 하고.....

엄마의 굽은 등 때문에 척추가 한 마디씩 내려앉으면,
엄마는 꼼짝도 못하고 누워만 계셨죠.
그런 엄마를 태우고 병원에 갈때, 길이 조금만 울퉁불퉁해도 아프다고 "아구구~~"하시는 엄마한테
조금만 참으시라고 핀잔을 하기도 했었지요.

남들은 나이가 들면 이런저런 약봉지가 수북하다고 하던데,
엄마는 생전 병원에 입원 한번 하신 적도 없이 건강하게 사셨지요.
아니, 내 몸은 내가 안다면서 참고 사셨는지도......
엄마가 평생 건강하게 사신 것만도 오히려 자식들한테 효도하신 거였는데......

이번에도 엄마가 목욕탕에서 넘어지셨는데, 꼼짝도 못하신다고 언니가 전화했을 때,
근육이 놀라서 그러실 거니까 약발라드리고 안정을 하시면 나을 거라고 가보지도 않았지요.
그런 저희가 얼마나 원망스러우셨겠어요......
토요일에 넘어지셨는데, 월요일에야 병원에 모시고 갔고,
그 길로 다시는 집에 돌아오지 못하고 하늘나라로 가셨지요......

엄마,
이제 하늘나라에서는 허리 꼿꼿하게 펴고
예전의 엄마처럼 기품있고 멋진 모습으로 사세요~~!!

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