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[ 詩 13 ] 겨울강
받는이 : 이원점 엄마
작성자 : 막내딸 명옥이 2006-01-16
겨울 강

김 찬일

찬비 맞으며
아련한 들길 걸으시다
젖은 한숨으로 떨어지는 동백꽃 타고
어머니는, 겨울강으로 떠나셨네
젖무덤이 마르면 안개가 되는 거야, 여자는
잠시 보이다가 사라지는 안개가 되는거지
어머니 보고 싶어요. 그럼 너희는
겨울강으로 나가 안개를 만져보렴
그 말을 들길에 흘러 놓고, 어머니는
겨울강으로 나가 안개가 되셨다
사랑하는 일은
생명을 기르는 일과 하나로 이어지지
그게 여자의 길이기도 하거든
겨울강 깊은곳에 가라앉아
강의 젖무덤이 되신 어머니는
생명을 기르는 안개로 피어나셨다


---------

엄마,
전에는 '엄마'를 부를 때 아무 생각없이 그냥 불렀는데,
요새는 이 곳에 편지를 쓰면서 소리없이 불러도
목부터 메어옵니다.
이 밤에 차마 소리내지 못하고
가슴으로만 부르는 "엄마~~"
잃고 나서야, 절절하게 불러지네요.......

요새는 매일 엄마 꿈을 꾸는데,
엄마랑 식구들이랑 놀러다니는 꿈을 꿔요.
내가 엄마모시고 여행을 못다닌게 그렇게 마음아파서 그런지,
하루는 놀이 공원에 가는 꿈을,
또 하루는 아시아 여러 나라를 돌아다니는 꿈을 꿨지 뭐예요.
분명히 내가 아이는 아닌데도,
꿈에서 하는 짓은 아이처럼 엄마랑 오빠 사이에 눕겠다고 자리를 뺏기도 하고,
먹는 꿈은 아픈 꿈이라는데 여행다니면서 맛있는거 먹는 꿈도 꾸고........
아프든지 말든지,
꿈에서 엄마랑 가족들이랑 즐겁게 놀러다니는 꿈을 꾸고 나면 기분이 좋아져요.
옛날에 엄마는 우리 가족들뿐 아니라 온 친척들 불러서 송추며, 북한산성이며 놀러다니는거 좋아하셨잖아요....
그래요...
엄마,
하늘 나라에서는 마음껏 여행다니시고,
맛있는 거 많이 드세요~!!
좋은데 있으면, 잘 알아두셨다가
이 다음에 우리들 가면 데리고 가주세요......

엄마,
날이 갈수록 엄마가 더 보고싶어져요.
엄마 돌아가시고 처음에는 실감이 나지 않아서 그런지 잘 모르겠더니만,
엄마보러 갈 시간이 지나서 그런지 자꾸 엄마가 보고 싶어져요.
일하기 전에는 일주일에 한번, 길면 열흘에 한번은 엄마보러 갔었잖아요.
그러다가 일시작하고서는 바쁘다는 핑계로 보름에 한번, 그나마 걸르면 3주에 한번 갔었는데,
그 주기가 돼서 그런지 더 보고 싶고,
목소리가 더 듣고 싶고 그래요........

이 시처럼,
엄마도 겨울강의 안개가 되신 건가요?
그렇다면,
내일은 한강에라도 가봐야겠어요...
안개를 보려면 새벽에 가야할텐데.......
엄마,
내일 오후나 되어야 시간이 날텐데,
저는 잠실 고수부지로 갈테니까,
엄마 그리로 오세요~~!!

엄마,
우리 내일 한강에서 만나요~~!!
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