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엄마~~~아~
받는이 : 최 영애
작성자 : 숙이 2006-01-18
엄마~~
아렇게 부르면 "오~야" 하고 대답해 주셨는데
지금은 "엄마"하고 부르면
그 소리에 눈물만 나요
어제는 설겆이를 하다 나도 모르게
'목포의 눈물'노래를 불렀어요
그 노래를 부르노라니 구슬프고 엄마 생각이
물씬 나는게 더 이상 부를 수 없었어요
"엄마!"
도대체 왜 이렇게 빨리 가셨어요?
자식이라고 엄마에게 도움도 못되고
가시는 길 재촉한것 같아 늘 가슴에 걸려요
어떤이가 이런 글을 썼더라구요

"내자신 슬픔의 고통을 내스스로

마취해가면서 난잊는거라고 생각했나봐

고런데 아니야 그건 나의착각이었든거야

슬픔은 아무리 지우려해도 지워지지가않아,

더욱더 진하게 선명해질뿐야

이가슴에옹백혀있는 빠지지않는

단단한 돌멩이일뿐야"

정말 이 말이 맞아
어떤 때엔 잠사 잊지만
아니 잊으려고 생각 안하려고 했는지도 몰라
그런데 엄마 생각나면......
엄마 생각나면.......
엄마가 안께신다는 이 현실이 믿기 지지가 않아
그러다가
엄마의 마지막 모습이 떠올라
그러면
엄마가 안 계신다는게 현실로 받아들여질 떄
얼마나 서글프고 기운이 떨어지는지....
"엄마"
나 잘 사는거 못보여드리고
엄마 맘껏 해드리지 못하고
늘 가슴 아파하셨던 이 딸이 걸려 어찌 가셨을 까?
아버지두 불쌍하구 불쌍하다 못해 가엾구...
아버지 내가 잘해드린다해두 엄마의 백만분지 일이라도 할까?

조금있으면 설인데 엄만 늘 물김치해야 한다고 하셨지요?
엄마 내가 있는솜씨 없는 솜씨 다 발휘해서 맛난 물김치도 담구고해서 훈훈한 설이 되도록 할께

엄마가 잘하던 구 오징어 튀김두 할께
그런데 그걸 먹을 수 있을까 몰라
엄마 생각 더 간절해져서......
엄마 음식 많이 해서 동생들도 싸줄께
엄마 늘 그렇게 하셨잖아?
그래야 엄마두 기뻐하실 것 같아....
엄마!
이제 밥하러 가야해
담에 또 쓸께
엄마!
엄마!
아직도 엄마 목소리가 생생한데....
숙아!숙아! 하고 브르셨지?
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