청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

[ 詩 16 ] 걸친, 엄마: 받는이 : 이원점 엄마; 작성자 : 막내딸 명옥이 2006-01-19

걸친, 엄마

이경림

한달전에 돌아간 엄마 옷을 걸치고 시장에 간다

엄마의 팔이 들어갔던 구멍에 내 팔을 꿰고
엄마의 목이 들어갓던 구멍에 내 목을 꿰고
엄마의 다리가 들어갔던 구멍에 내다리를 꿰고,
나는
엄마가 된다 .걸을 때 마다 펄렁 펄렁
엄마 냄새를 풍긴다

엄마.......

다 늙은 것이 엄마는 무슨.......
걸친, 엄마가 눈을 흘긴다

---------

엄마,
이제 조금있으면 엄마가 이 세상을 떠나신지 꼭 한달이 되네요...
이 한달이 어찌 이렇게 긴지.......
그 동안 온 세상이 달라진거 같은데,
겨우 한달 밖에 안되었다네요......
해가 바뀌어서 그런가,
내가 정말로 어른이 된거 같고
세상을 많이 알게 된거 같고
무엇보다 상실이라는 게 어떤 건지 알게 됐고.....

엄마,
오늘 (아니 어제) 막내오빠랑 청아공원에 가서 엄마보고 왔는데, 엄마도 반가웠죠?
간다고 말하고 가면, 엄마는 청아공원 문밖에서 내내 서성거리실까봐서.....
그러면서도 "바쁜데 뭐하러 와~ 전화만 해도 돼..." 하셨을테고...
엄마, 엄마한테 전화가 안돼서 간거니까, 괜한 말씀하지 마세요~~

엄마,
오늘은 분홍색 장미를 달아드렸어요.
엄마는 화사한거 좋아하시잖아요.......

엄마,
글을 쓰다보면 자꾸만 눈물이 나요.......
그냥 컴퓨터 끄고, 엉엉~~ 소리내서 울고 싶은데,
한 밤중에 소리도 내지 못하고 우니, 목젖이 다 아파져요.....

엄마,
엄마가 그렇게 병원에서 일주일밖에 안계실줄 알았다면,
간병인 아주머니 쓰지 않고 내가 내내 같이 있을걸..........
엄마 곁에서 실컷 엄마 얼굴 만져보고,
엄마 손도 잡아보고 할걸.......
그리고, 선생님이 혼내도 산소마스크 떼고 엄마랑 얘기나 실컷 할걸......
어째도 돌아가실 거였는데,
엄마 마지막 목소리도 못듣고 말았잖아요..!!
엄마,
우리한테 하시고 싶은 말씀이 얼마나 많았을까....
겨우 들릴듯 말듯 하시는 말씀이
"아..파..."였다니.........

엄마 손등에 링거꽂는거 아파하실때,
그냥 주사바늘을 확 빼드릴걸....
엄마 행여 주사바늘 뺄까봐, 나중에는 팔도 묶어두었는데
그것도 풀어서 엄마를 자유롭게 해드릴걸....
쓸데없이 이 검사, 저 검사 받느라 엄마 기운 다 빼지 못하게 할 걸.......

엄마,
미안해요~!!
엄마가 그렇게 아파할 때 해드릴 수 있는게 아무것도 없었네요........
엄마가 애처로운 눈빛으로,
간절한 눈빛으로
아프다고 주사바늘 빼달라고 하시던 모습이 자꾸만 떠올라서 너무 마음이 아파요!!

생전 병원이라고는 모르시던 분이 마지막 가시는 길을 병원에서 마감하시다니......

필름을 한달 전으로 돌려서 다시 찍으면 안될까..?
그러면, 적어도 "엄마 내일 올게요~"하고 집으로 오지 않고,
그냥 엄마 곁에서 엄마의 마지막이라도 볼 수 있을텐데......
엄마는 그렇게 예뻐하는 내가 없었는데,
어떻게 눈을 감을 수가 있어요..???
왜 이렇게 내 마음아프게 하냐구요???
조금만 더 기다리시지....
그러면, 다음날 가서 한번이라도 더 엄마얼굴 볼 수 있었을텐데!!!
지금 일산병원으로 달려가면,
거기에 계시는건 아닌가요, 엄마??
어떻게 해.. 너무 보고싶어서.......

아냐~~
엄마, 나 괜찮아요...
괜히 투정부린 거예요.
내가 이러면, 엄마 마음이 더 아플텐데.....
나 정말 괜찮아요!!
잘 잘게요......
엄마, 엄마도 편히 주무세요~~!!
.
.
.

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JeryTop 2015-06-24 11:51:47: Pronunciation Guide a as in a pe a as in a pple e as in e ven e as in e very i as in i ce i as in i nterest o as in o pen o as in p o t u as in u nit u as in u nder TERM PRONUNCIATION MEANING acetone A S e t o n albuminuria a lb u m i n U r e a antidiuretic hormone a nt i d i u R E t i k H O Rm o n anuria a n U r e a arteriole a rT E R e o l azotemia a z o T E m e a bacteriuria b a kt e r e U r e a calciferol c a lS I f e r o l caliceal k a l i S E a l caliectasis k a l e E Kt a s i s calyx calix plural calyces K A l i ks K A l i s e z calices catheter K A th e t e r cortex K O Rt e ks cortical K O Rt i k a l creatinine kr e A T i n e n creatinine clearance kr e A T i n e n KL E R a ns CT urography CT u R O Gr a f e cystectomy s i sT E Kt o m e cystitis s i sT I t i s cystoscopy s i sT O Sk o p e cystostomy s i sT O St o m e diabetes insipidus d i a B E t e z i nS I P i d u s diabetes mellitus d i a B E t e z M E L i t u s URINARY SYSTEM TERM PRONUNCIATION MEANING diuresis d i u rR E s i s dysuria d i s U r e a edema e D E m a electrolyte e L E Ktr o l i t enuresis e n u R E s i s erythropoietin e r i thr o P OY e t i n essential hypertension e S E Nsh u l h i p e rT E Nsh u n ltration f i lTR A sh u n glomerular capsule gl o M E R u l a r K A Ps u l glomerulonephritis gl o m e r u l o n e FR I t i s glomerulus plural glomeruli gl o M E R u l u s gl o M E R u l i glycosuria gl i k o s U r e a hematuria h e m a T U r e a hemodialysis h e m o d i A L i s i s hilum H I l u m hydronephrosis h i dr o n e FR O s i s hyperkalemia h i p e rk a L E m e a hyponatremia h i p o n a TR E m e a interstitial nephritis i nt e rST I sh u l n e FR I t i s intravesical i ntr a V E S i k a l ketonuria k e t o n U r e a ketosis k e T O s i s kidney K I Dn e lithotripsy L I TH o tr i ps e meatal stenosis m e A t a l st e N O s i s meatus m e A t u s medulla m e D U L a or m e D U L a medullary M E D u l a r e MRI urography MRI u R O Gr a f e nephrolithiasis n e fr o l i TH I a s i s URINARY SYSTEM TERM PRONUNCIATION MEANING nephrolithotomy n e fr o l i TH O T o m e nephron N E Fr o n nephropathy n e FR O p a th e nephroptosis n e fr o pT O s i s nephrostomy n e FR O St o m e nephrotic syndrome n e FR O T i k S I Ndr o m nitrogenous waste n i TR O J e n u s w a st nocturia n o kT U r e a oliguria o l i G U r e a parenchyma p a r E Nk i m a paranephric p a r a N E Fr i k peritoneal dialysis p e r i t o N E a l d i A L i s i s phenylketonuria f e n i lk e t o n U R e a polycystic kidney disease p o l e S I St i k K I Dn e d i Z E Z polydipsia p o l e D I Ps e a polyuria p o l e U r e a potassium p o T A s e u m pyelolithotomy p i e l o l i TH O T o m e pyelonephritis p i e l o n e fR I t i s pyuria p i U r e a reabsorption r e a bS O RPsh u n renal angiography R E n a l a nj e O Gr a f e renal angioplasty R E n a l A Nj e o pl a st e renal artery R E n a l A Rt e r e renal calculi R E n a l K A Lk u l i renal cell carcinoma R E n a l s e l k a rs i N O m a renal colic R E n a l K O L i k renal failure R E n a l F A L u r renal hypertension R E n a l h i p e rT E Nsh u n renal ischemia R E n a l i sK E m e a renal pelvis R E n a l P E Lv i s URINARY SYSTEM TERM PRONUNCIATION MEANING renal transplantation R E n a l tr a nspl a nT A sh u n renal tubule R E n a l T oo b u l renal vein R E n a l v a n renin R E n i n retrograde pyelogram R E tr o gr a d P I e l o gr a m secondary hypertension S E k o nd a r e h i p e rT E Nsh u n sodium S O d e u m stricture STR I Ksh u r trigone TR I g o n trigonitis tr i g o N I t i s urea u R E a uremia u R E m e a ureter u R E t e r or U R e t e r ureteroileostomy u r e t e r o i l e O St o m e ureteroneocystostomy u r e t e r o n e o s i sT O St o m e ureteroplasty u r e t e r o PL A St e urethra u R E thr a urethral stricture u R E thr a l STR I Ksh u r urethritis u r e THR I t i s urethroplasty u r e thr o PL A St e uric acid U r i k A S i d urinalysis u r i n A L i s i s urinary bladder U R i n a r e BL A d e r urinary catheterization U R i n a r e k a th e t e r i Z A sh u n urinary incontinence U R i n a r e i nK O Nt i n e ns urinary retention U R i n a r e r e T E Nsh u n urination u r i N A sh u n vesicoureteral reux v e s i k o u R E t e r a l R E u ks voiding VOYd i ng voiding cystourethrogram VOYd i ng s i st o u R E thr o gr a m Wilms tumor w i lmz T oo m u r URINARY SYSTEM REVIEW SHEET Write the meanings of the combining forms sufxes and prexes in the spaces provided. [url=http://onlinemedox.com/#weycliw]cheap cialis[/url] One example is the frankincense tree Boswellia sacra producer of the legendary fragrance for perfumes aromatherapy see p.

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