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[ 詩 18 ] 어머니께 드리는 노래
받는이 : 이원점 엄마
작성자 : 막내딸 명옥이 2006-01-21
어머니께 드리는 노래/이해인

어디에 계시든지 사랑으로 흘러
우리에겐 고향의 강이 되는 푸른 어머니.
제 앞길만 가리며 바삐 사는 자식들에게
더러는 잊혀지면서도 보이지 않게 함께 있는 바람처럼
끝없는 용서로 우리를 감싸안은 어머니.
당신의 고통 속에 생명을 받아
이만큼 자라 온 날들을 깊이 감사할 줄 모르는
우리의 무례함을 용서하십시오.
기쁨보다는 근심이
만남보다는 이별이 더 많은 어머니의 언덕길에선
하얗게 머리 푼 억새풀처럼
흔들리는 슬픔도 모두 기도가 됩니다.
삶이 고단하고 괴로울 때
눈물 속에서 불러보는
가장 따뜻한 이름, 어머니...

집은 있어도 사랑이 없어 울고 있는
이 시대의 방황하는 자식들에게
영원한 그리움으로 다시 오십시오. 어머니.
아름답게 열려 있는 사랑을 하고 싶지만
번번히 실패했던 어제의 기억을 묻고
우리도 이제는 어머니처럼 살아있는 강이 되겠습니다.
목마른 누군가에게 꼭 필요한
푸른 어머니가 되겠습니다.


---------


엄마,
나는 한번도 어머니.. 라고 불러본 적이 없네....
막내라서 그런지,
왠지 어머니.. 보다는 엄마..가 훨씬 친근감이 있어서 좋아요.
엄마도 그렇죠?
하기사 우리 육남매 모두 엄마..라고 불렀잖아요.
나이 육십이 넘은 큰언니나 큰오빠까지도...

엄마,
그런데 이 '엄마...'라는 두 글자가 요새처럼 가슴에 와닿은 적은 없었던 거 같아요.
그냥 엄마...라는 호칭으로만 불렀었는데,
요새는 엄마... 라는 부름 속에 가슴부터 꽉 메어져 오는 무언가가 있어요.
그리움...
죄스러움...
아득함...
정겨움........

엄마,
이렇게 밤에 엄마한테 편지를 쓰고 나면,
얼음주머니를 눈에 대고 자요.
아침에 외출할 때 눈이 퉁퉁 부어있으면 좀 그렇잖요....
하늘로 보내는 편지라고 늘 슬프게 쓰면 너무 쳐질거 같아서,
오늘은 좀 밝게 써야지.. 했다가도
'엄마.... '라고 한 줄만 쓰고 나도
이내 눈물부터 흘러요.
늘 울기만 하는 딸이 이쁠리도 없는데......

엄마,
엄마도 하늘나라에서 나 보고싶어서 우셨나요...?
두고 온 자식들 때문에 엄마도 그리워서 눈물 흘리신적 있나요...??
아니야...
엄마는 살아계실 때도 자식들 보고싶어서 많은 날을 우셨을지도 몰라...
육남매나 되는 자식들 돌아가면서 하나씩만 보고 싶어도 일주일 내내 우셨을거야......
난, 엄마 살아계실 때는 엄마보고 싶어서 운적은 없었어요.
그냥 언제든지 가면 된다는 생각만 있었을 뿐...
하지만, 엄마는 자식들 보고 싶어도 혼자서 차타고 오실 수가 없으니,
그저 오기만을 기다리셨을테고
그 기다림에 지쳐서 애꿎은 베란다 창문만 뚫어져라 내다보셨겠지요........
나는 그 유리창을 차마 바라볼 수가 없어서,
아직도 엄마가 사셨던 언니네 집에 갈 수가 없어요.....

엄마,
남들이 "살아계실 때 잘해~~"하는 말을
그때는 왜 귀담아듣지 않았는지.........

엄마,
내 눈물 닦아주러 오세요........
나 이렇게 맨날 울게 하지 마시구요.......

엄마......
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