청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

[ 詩 24 ] 어 머 니: 받는이 : 이원점 엄마; 작성자 : 막내딸 명옥이 2006-01-28

<어머니>

마음이
가난해질 때면
고이 간직해둔
당신의 사진 속으로
빠져듭니다

한장을
열고 들어가면
어머님 체취가,
금새
또 한장을 열면
묻어둔 실타래에서
사연들이,
다시
한 장을 열면
"얘야" 하시는
자애로우신 음성이...

언제나
안기고 싶은
당신의 품은
영원한 고향이지요.

- 류정숙, 詩 '어머니'

-------

엄마,
엄마........
나도 한 아이의 엄마면서
왜 이렇게 철이 안드는지 모르겠어요.......
마음의 변화가 얼굴에 그대로 드러나고,
감정의 기복이 여전히 심하기만 하고......
오늘은 하루종일 마음이 무겁네요~~
이럴 때, 그냥 엄마 앞에서 실컷 울기라도 했으면.....

엄마,
나는 막내면서 엄마한테 곰살맞게 굴지 못했던 거 같아요.
엄마 턱밑에서 고주알 미주알 재잘거리지도 않았고,
엄마 손을 쪼물락거리면서 엄마한테 응석을 부리지도 않았고,
엄마한테 떼를 쓰면서 뭔가를 조르지도 않았지요.

나이 많으신 엄마라서 그랬는지
아니면 말을 들어줄 식구들이 많아서 그랬는지
엄마한테는 한없이 이뿐 막내딸이었지만,
살갑게 구는 귀여운 딸은 아니었을거 같아요.
사업을 하시는 엄마라서 그랬는지,
아님, 내가 혼자 하는걸 좋아해서 그랬는지,
집에 도와줄 언니들도 많았지만, 뭐든지 혼자서 했었던 기억이 나네요.
나는 그렇게 하는게 엄마 신경 안쓰게 해드리는 거라고 생각해서 그랬었는데,
내가 엄마가 되어보니, 참새같은 딸이 더 예뻤겠다.. 싶어요.

그런데, 엄마
낼 모레면 오십을 바라보는 나이에
철없는 막내가 되고 싶으니 어째요...?
그냥 기분대로 표현하고 싶고,
엄마 앞에서 넋두리도 하고 싶고,
투정도 부려보고 싶고.......
정작 계실 때는 엄마 앞에서 점잖만 떨더니,
안계신 지금에서야 그런게 그립다니......
진짜 청개구리가 따로 없네요.......

엄마,
나 이 다음에 엄마 만나면,
그때도 막내할래요~~
그래서 지금 후회되는거 다 해볼래요.....

엄마,
사진 속에 계신 엄마,
지금 내가 가장 만나고픈 딱 한 사람, 엄마....
엄마,
지금 너무 많이 보고싶어요!!

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