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유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

[ 詩 38 ] 엄마의 등 보름달 같은 사랑: 받는이 : 이원점 엄마; 작성자 : 막내딸 명옥이 2006-02-11

엄마의 등 보름달 같은 사랑

- 이민영

울 엄마의 등은
보름달이다 내내 비춘다

둥그렇다
보름달 같은 사랑이다

엄마는 아기때 나를 업었다
업고 업어
등은 휘었다

내 동생도 업어 키웠다
오빠도 업어 키웠다
삼남 이녀 오남매를
그리
업고서 일하면서 키웠다

언제나
따뜻한 엄마의 등은
우리들이 어른이 되었는데도
한번도 땅에 내려 놓으시지 않고
지금도 다 큰 아들을
딸들을
굽은 등으로 업고 계신다

우리들 목소리가 잠기면
우리들의 얼굴빛이 변하면
무슨일이 있느냐고
그리 업고 계신다

이제는 힘이 없으니 마음의 등으로
걱정의 등으로
희생의 등으로
사랑의 등으로
우리 아픔 우리 걱정 우리 슬픔을
사랑에 담아
보름달 가득 업고 계신다

오늘도 오늘도 업고 계신다
오남매를 그리 업고 계신다
엄마는 보름달이다

보름달 같은 사랑이다

---------

엄마,
오늘 대보름 전날이예요.
오곡밥하고 일곱가지 나물을 먹고, 부럼을 깨는 날이 오늘인지, 아니면 보름인 내일 먹는건지...
엄마, 언제가 맞아요?
예전에는 엄마가 챙겨줘서 가져가라.. 하는 날이 먹는 날이었는데,
이제는 내가 챙기려니 모르겠네.....
올해는 우리 식구들은 좋아하지도 않으니까, 그냥 안먹고 넘기려구요..
여자가 게을러서 그렇다고 엄마한테 혼나겠네.....
그래도 내일 부럼은 사다가 먹도록 할게요.
옛날에 망치로 호두 두드려 깨고,
잣에 바늘 꽂아서 불을 붙이던 기억이 나네요.
바늘끝이 그을음으로 시커멓게 타고...
고소한 잣 타는 냄새가 나는 것 같네~~

엄마,
오늘 달보고 우리 엄마 건강하게 해달라고 빌었는데.....
하늘 나라에서도 건강하게 오래오래 사셔야죠~~

엄마,
요새는 엄마한테 편지를 쓸 때,
예전처럼 많이 울지 않아요.
시간을 좀 일찍 쓰는 탓에 식구들이 있어서
우는 것조차 어렵거든요.
그러다보니 글도 좀 밝아지는 거 같고...
" 얘가 어느새 애미 죽은게 이렇게 아무렇지도 않아졌나~~!"하시겠네.....
우는 것도 가슴 속의 응어리를 풀어내는 방법이라고 하더니,
많이 울었더니 엄마잃은 서러움, 애통함이 많이 씻긴 듯도 해요...

엄마,
하늘나라에서 오늘 바쁘셨던거 아니세요?
이런 날 그냥 보내시는 분이 아닌데...
음식을 해도 하늘 나라 식구들 다 먹이고도 남을 만큼 하셨을테고........
엄마,
형부랑 외삼촌이랑, 할머니랑 다 부르셔서 맛있게 드세요~~!!

참,
어제 아는 분을 만났는데, 불교에 열심이신 분인데,
그 분이 엄마가 깨끗하게 돌아가셨다고 하네요.
엄마가 원한도 없고, 공을 많이 쌓아서 좋게 가셨다고 하네요......
얼마나 고맙고, 다행스러운지......
자식들이 해드린게 아니라
엄마 본인의 공덕이지만
어찌되었던 좋게 가셨다니 기쁜 일이죠~~!!

엄마,
좋은 데서 행복하게 사세요~~~

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