청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

[ 詩 43 ] 참 孝道: 받는이 : 이원점 엄마; 작성자 : 막내딸 명옥이 2006-02-16

참孝道

- 어머니ㆍ21 - 유 순

어머님께선
참 孝道는
돈을 많이 주는 것도 아니고
맛있는 것을 많이 사주는 것도 아니고
마음하나 편안히 해 주는 것이라고
말씀하셨다.

히브리 잠언에도
어린 아이때는 두통을 주나
자라면 心病을 준다고 했다.

나는 아직 결혼을 안해
참 孝道를 못하고 있다.

대신,
무엇으로 老母의 마음을
편안히, 즐겁게 해 드릴 수가 있을까?

나는 늘
火傷을 당한 가슴
囚人의 몸으로 살아가고 있다.

----------

엄마,
오늘부터 날씨가 또 추워지네요...
창밖에 바람부는 소리가 을씨년스럽게 들리고.....

엄마,
이 시도 그렇지만 흔히들
참 효도란
돈을 많이 주는 것도 아니고,
맛있는 거 많이 사드리는 것도 아니고,
그저 마음 하나 편하게 해드리는 거라고 했는데,
엄마한테는 자식 여섯중에 효도한 자식이 하나도 없네.....
몸도 호사를 못시켜드리고,
마음도 효도를 못하고.......

엄마,
그래도 엄마는 행복하다고 하셨을지도 몰라...
엄마는 아주 작은 것에도 "고맙다~!"를 달고 사셨잖아요.
내가 목욕을 시켜드릴 때, 어찌나 쑥스러워하시면서 고마워하시는지
내가 무슨 목욕봉사하러 온 자원봉사자 같아서 되레 미안했어요....
그래서 "엄마가 나 어릴때 목욕을 얼마나 많이 시켰주셨는데, 이제 겨우 몇번 한거 같고 그러세요~?" 하면,
그래도 또 고맙다고......
내가 사이다에 과자만 사가도 고맙다고 하시고....
빈 손으로 엄마한테 가기만 해도 고맙다고 하시고...
그저 전화만 해도 고맙다고 하신 엄마.....
다른 복은 몰라도 자식 여섯 중에 하나도 앞세우지 않은걸 제일 큰 복으로 여기신 엄마......
이 세상에 '고맙다'는 말을 하러 오신 것처럼, 고맙다는 말을 그렇게도 많이 하셨지요...
엄마,
되레 엄마가 우릴 낳아주셔서 고마워요~!!
엄마가 우릴 남부럽지 않게 키워주셔서 고마워요~!!
엄마가 우리 힘들게 하지 않으시고, 곱게 하늘나라로 가신것까지도 고마워요~!!
엄마가 우리의 엄마이셔서 정말 고마워요~!!

엄마,
나 어렸을 때 반장을 참 많이 했었는데,
왜 그랬는지 아세요?
어린 마음에 그게 나이 많은 엄마를 기쁘게 해드릴 거 같아서 그랬던 거였어요.
그리고 커가면서 별다른 어려움은 없었지만,
내 행동의 기준은 엄마 마음 안아프게 해드리는거였구요......

엄마,
앞으로도 그렇게 살도록 할게요...
엄마가 기뻐할 일을 하고...
엄마가 마음아파하실 일은 안하고.......
엄마, 나 착하지..?
"에구~ 이쁜 우리 막내딸~!!" 하고 안아줘요...

엄마,
날씨가 추우니깐 당분간은 따뜻한 곳에 계시도록 하세요......

엄마, 안녕히 주무시구요~~~

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