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오늘따라 많이 보고싶구나 ㅠㅠ..
받는이 : 내동생 선배야
작성자 : 형... 2005-08-07
하이 선배.. 잘있니?
오늘 현권이하고 승필이 현석이 왔었어..
현권이 집으로 인사와서 많이 놀래고.. 갑자기 현권이 보니까 울 선배생각 많이 나더라 ..
어머니도 한동안 좀 평온을 찾으시다가 갑자기 와서 현권이보고 많이 우셨어.. 니넘이 보고싶으신게지 ㅡㅡ
오전에는 이모하고 이모부 모시고 울 동생 석호면회갔다 왔다.. 거기서 이모가 이제 나한테 동생은 친척을 통털어서 남동생은 석호뿐이라고 말씀하시데.. 생각해보니까... 남동생은 진짜 석호뿐이더라.. 니넘이 있을때는 그런거 생각해 본 적이 없는데.. 니가 떠난자리가.. 왜 그렇게 크게 느껴지는지.. 가슴이 애린다.. 너라 생각하고 석호한테 이것 저것 많이 사먹였어.. 니넘 군대가서 군의관이나 보건의 하면 내가 면회 자주가고 니넘이랑 먹으러도 다니고 같이 보낼시간을 나 많이 생각했었거든.. 나 군대있을때.. 거의 7-8년 전부터 그 생각을 해왔어.. 니넘 군대가면 내가 면회자주가고 이런 저런 얘기도 하고.. 같이 놀아주고 그럴려고 ,, 그런데.. 나한테는 그런 기회가 주어지지 못하는건가봐.. 오늘 석호보면서.. 그냥 이런저런 생각들이 많이 들더라구.. 석호 군대있으면서 신경쓰일까봐 이모하고 이모부가 말하지 않았다고 하더라고.. 지금 이등병이라.. 이제 갓 자대배치받은지 한달됐거든.. 그넘 훈련소 있을때 니넘이 사고당한거라 말하기 뭣하셨나봐.. 오늘 말했다고 하시더군... 석호한테라도 이것저것 먹이고 같이 얘기도 하고 같이 돌아다니고 하니까 그런데로 아쉬움은 덜하더라.. 그넘 면회라도 자주갈려고.. 이모하고 이모부는 멀리계서서 잘 못가실테니.. 바로 위 형으로서 내가 형노릇 할려고^^...
너한테 하는 것 처럼 하고싶다.. 니넘이라 생각하고 싶어.. 아.... 어떡하니 .. 그냥 가슴이 답답하다.. 너무 답답하다 ..
임마.. 많이 보고싶다.. 내 꿈에서 또 나올꺼지? 기다리고 있으마.. 꿈에서라도.. 즐겁게 놀아보자.. 니넘하고 못했던거.. 다 하면서.. 얼굴도 보고 목소리도 듣고..ㅠㅠ ... 형아.. 이젠 씻고 잘란다.. 언능 선배보러 가야지.. 엉아가 다시 들릴께. 그동안 잘있어.. 그럼 잘자라...
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