청아공원

유가족광장하늘로보내는편지

울엄마에게 / 추석이에요: 받는이 : 울엄마; 작성자 : 큰딸이 2008-09-15

엄마!
명절 연휴기간에는 복잡할테고 명절 지내고 찾아뵈면
내내 목빠져라 기다리실거 같아서, 저희형제들은 지난주에 미리 엄마한테 다녀갔어요.
그러는게 엄마도 맘에 들어하실거 같았고요. 잘한거지요?

엄마가 가시고 처음맞는 명절에 올케가 정성껏 준비한 음식으로
차례도 잘 모셨어요. 철이른 명절이라 과일도 별맛은 없더라고요.
그래도 잘 드시고 가셨지요?

엄마에 대한 저의 미련처럼.. 날씨마저
무슨 미련이 그리 많은지 아직도 한여름같은 늦더위가 계속되고 있네요.
그래도 때는 맞추느라 김장거리도 심었고 무럭무럭 잘자라고 있어요.
적당히 비만 내려준다면 여느해와는 비교할 수 없게 풍성한 김장을 담글 수 있을 것 같아요.
엄마가 계셨다면 칭찬을 아끼지 않으시며 흐뭇해 하셨을텐데....
그모습 그말투가 눈에 선해서 김장밭을 둘러볼 때마다 눈시울을 적시지요.

엄마가 가신지 벌써 석달째네요. 그래도 그렇듯,
엄마의 부재가 아직도 믿기지 않고 갈수록 그 빈자리가 커가고
슬픔이 새삼스러워 견디기 힘든때가 많아요.

엄마의 갑작스런 떠남에 대해서
듣는이들마다 한결같이 '아쉽지만 부럽다' 고들 해요.
그말의 뜻이 이해되면서 저 역시 절실하게 공감을 하고 있어요.
무슨뜻인지 아시지요? 엄마...

많이 힘들어요.
제가 꿋꿋하게 떳떳하게 살아갈 수 있게, 힘을 주시고 길을 밝혀주세요!
다음에 엄마를 찾아뵈었을때는 씩씩하고 밝은모습을 보여드릴 수 있게요.
그립고 보고픈 엄마~ 편안하게 잘 쉬세요~~

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